I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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