Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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