Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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