I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize