Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
