sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
