i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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