your parents love me but you hate me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
