I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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