Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Even the bartender felt bad for me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
