I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
