Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
