it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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