PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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