i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
