very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
