Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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