Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
