I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
