Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
