i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
