Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
