Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
did you just send me my own nude
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
