Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
