She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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