He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
