just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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