Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
