Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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