i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
