I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize