Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize