just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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