and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize