I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
