But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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