there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize