I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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