Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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