I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
