He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
