I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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