Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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