The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They took my balls.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
