i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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