I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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