never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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