The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize