It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
