She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
porn star boner night. come get it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is my gift to your gina
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
