There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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