Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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