He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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