carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
and you fell through a lawn chair
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
