More tranny stories later!
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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