I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
