garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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