I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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