Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
