SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
