if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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