I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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