Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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