Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
