My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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